I awoke this morning to startling news - the United States attempted at 7:30am ET to destroy our beloved moon. I heard about this "ridiculous" story about a month ago. I wondered, "Why would the United States want to blow up the moon? Our moon, which we fought so hard to fly to in the 1960's. The United States claimed the moon in 1969 when Neil and Buzz landed on it. We've been back numerous times. It would seem like a fun vacation trip for some astronauts. So then why the fuck would we blow this up?
I'll tell you why - the Chinese. Rumor has it the Chinese wanted to land on OUR moon. Well that is just reeeeediculous. That is OUR moon. Why can't the Chinese find their own moon? Obama heard the whispers, and they eventually became louder. The Chinese wanted a piece of what we had. They wanted to share OUR moon. Well, Professor Obama said fuck that.
In this case, I COMPLETELY understand why our president wanted to blow up the moon. Better no one has it then the Chinese. This would be their first step to Universal domination. If we can't beat them on Earth, then we better not let them get past Earth. Obama, great heads up play. I commend you.
Unfortunately, you failed miserably. Not only did the moon survive, she is angry. And she is coming for us. Soon.
We'll find out in a couple of weeks if there is a possibility of water on the moon, which would be pretty sweet.